SNAPPING TURTLE COMICS! Get your comics here!

 Me and my good buddy Luciano have joked/talked/dreamt about opening up our own comic book store. It would be the coolest comic book store EVER!! We'd sell the best new comics and the best graphic novels and have back issues of comics from the 70's and 80's. We'd have oldschool arcade games like pac man and centipede and a coffee machine and make it a cool place for comic fans to chill and read comics and we'd be the coolest comic book store workers there ever were 'cos god knows people that work at comic book shops are JERKS!! I mean , I wanna set these people on fire and extinguish their burning bodies with .50 caliber machine fire! But that's me.

Wolvie agrees with me!

FORGED IN GORE show review

 I spewed out ALOT of clear mucus out last nite. That's pretty brutal , aint it? And then I went to the FORGED IN GORE/EMBALMER show so that's even more brutality I was covered in. FORGED IN GORE. That's a very apt handle for these dudes. Risen from the ashes of REGURGITATION featuring bassist/vokillist Brian Baxter and skinpounder Dan Baker. They truly were forged in gore with their time served in the underground Death Metal scene of the 90's. And they were here last nite , on a monday , and tore shit up! Really glad I attended 'cos FORGED IN GORE really lit a fire under my big toe and woke me up and had me feeling good the only way Metal can can make you feel. They were fast as fuck and heavy as shit and the guitarists were ripping out these mega nuclear solos and Brians vocals are exactly what Death Metal vocals are supposed to be and the drumming was fucking spot on brutal and pulled everything together! They did a REGURGITATION and SCATTERED REMNANTS cover. If you like Death Metal you WILL like FORGED IN GORE so check 'em out , like their , pg  , buy 'em some beers and smoke a joint with them while your gal blows 'em , do whatever you gotta do to make up for missing this show!

Hellbound in San Antonio Texas!: The EMBALMER/FORGED IN GORE Show this coming Monday

    EMBALMER & FORGED IN GORE are playing at the Korova this coming Monday and the show is put together by Hellbound Jeff. Hellbound has put on alot of good shows , one of which was just last week with ANIMALS KILLING PEOPLE & GOEMAGOT. I got home from werk last Monday and saw it on facebook but was too tired to go and I think I would have missed GOEMAGOT who are badass , as well as ANIMALS KILLING PEOPLE. And he helped out the Mexican band ROTTENESS when they were stuck here by putting on a show to raise $ for them to get home.

the insane men of GOEMAGOT.

      Hopefully Hellbound and his gal B.J. will continue to support the San Antonio Death Metal scene in some capacity 'cos lately they been putting on some great shows and bringing in killer national acts and it sux 'cos the turnouts have been weak I'm guessing. San Antonio has a great scene for Metal but I know it's hard on everyone that's into Metal these days , especially for bands , promoters , labels , everybody and I know how it is to be tired and not feeling like heading out to a show or not having  all the cash you wanna spend or can't spend.

Mondo Sleazo: The Sleaziest shit I can find!: WOLVERINE 1982 Graphic Novel

Mondo Sleazo: The Sleaziest shit I can find!: WOLVERINE 1982 Graphic Novel: trade paperback/graphic novel     Up until recently I thought I was a weird person and did stupid shit like carry around this WOLVERINE ...

WOLVERINE 1982 Graphic Novel

trade paperback/graphic novel

    Up until recently I thought I was a weird person and did stupid shit like carry around this WOLVERINE graphic novel because it makes me feel better. But everyone does quirky little things unique all to themselves and that's what makes us all special. Right. 
    Now , if I had to pick 10 graphic novels that were the best of the best this would go on that list. Look at the cover of the trade! It's so savage and brutal with Logan fighting 4 ninja! Done by Frank Miller back in the day when he also was the best at what he does. Just like Logan is good at killing people. And he kills in this , kills samurai and ninja and kicks the fat asses of sumo wrestlers. This is from 1982 and it beats the shit out of 99% of the comics , books , and movies that have come out in the last 30 years.

They have a shirt of this on amazon!

BADASS!

    This has a great story with wonderful artwork that combines for a hard hitting emotional tale about one of the coolest characters created in any medium. And it doesn't have gratuitous sex , violence , and language , which I don't mind but when you can leave all that stuff out and still have a gritty action packed adult themed story , it's just better. Logan is so cool ; guys like Indiana Jones , Captain Ahab , Van Helsing , Luke Skywalker , even Snake Pliskin and Mad Max ,  Logan could drink them under the table and whip their asses!

I got a shitty tat of this pic!

RED SKY BLUE : Dark Angel Saga book 2

one of the Esad Ribic covers!

     Fire. Pain. Loss. Rot. No future....No life....and I do it all for you and I'd do it again and again. And I read book 2 of THE DARK ANGEL Saga and it was even better and more fun than book 1 and I just have to tell ya about it!

Awesome variant by Mike Deodato Jr.

    Archangel is the new Apocalypse all bright and shiny and is deadset on killing off all human life on earth and reshaping it into a world of mutants and X-FORCE has to stop him as violently and
as quickly as they can.
    This was a great read and Rick Remender is such a gifted writer and has such a wild imagination and way with words and we also get the equally amazing artistic talents of Jerome Opena! Just look at some of his art!

THE DARK ANGEL SAGA BOOK 1

     Remember Remender. That is all you have to do. Remember Remender.........
    I love Robert Kirkman and THE WALKING DEAD and HAUNT but there are other comix out there that are just as good and maybe even better and this is one of them. This edition that I got from the library had a great cover , as you can plainly see , and as good as the cover looks , the story is even better.
    Just so you know the Uncanny X - Force is made up of Wolverine , Archangel , Deadpool , Psylocke , and Fantomex and in writer Rick Remenders capable hands this is even better than the previous incarnation. Confused? Doesn't matter 'cos with Remender in charge a comic about Care Bears versus Strawberry Shortcake would be awesome!! I mean , no kidding this guy is a talented writer. He can make you laugh and comes up with crazy stuff and all out blazing action but at the center of it all , like the best writers , there is a heart to the story and you do care about what happens to the characters.


    Plus there is the fantastic artwork of Billy Tan and Mark Brooks who make it look so good and fit not only X-FORCE but Ricks writing style. He came up with some crazy mish mash of superheroes and turned them into bad guys , like Iron Gost and The Orange Hulk and Beta Red , for the artists to draw and he even tossed in the Manphibian for us comic book super geeks to keep us on our toes and make sure we are paying attention!
    I knew this was gonna be good and it was , it lived up to my expectations and for a little bit I lost sense of time and didn't want it to end all because of Remender and company and their comic book know how. And it's not over yet because I still have book 2 and I'm gonna read it and fill ya in on that one too..........Remember Remender............... arty/mondosleazo

SATANS SATYRS June 1st 2013 At THE MIX in San Antonio , TX

      I never heard of these SATANS SATYRS dudes before 2 weeks ago but now that I have heard them and seen them I can't live without their 'Wild Beyond Belief' cd!! SATANS SATYRS. Just sounds cool , and it's a name for a band that when you hear it you know it's Metal and your sure it's probably going to be heavy AND there's almost no chance of it not being cool! And I ordered 'Wild Beyond Belief' 2 weeks ago from DARK DESCENT Recs but did not get it before they descended onto San Antonio  like Barlow in Salems Lot. Un noticed but definitely their dark presence must of been felt by someone. So I was shit outta luck on jammin' 'Wild Beyond Belief ' before seein' 'em. Yup , can't get laid , too afraid to drink or do drugs anymore and can't even get a cd before the band plays!
       
And these SATANS SATYRS went on after the witching hour at one o'clock in the morning! But I was there right in front 'cos I wanted to see if they were worth braving the savage streets of late nite San Antonio to see if they were as good as I thought they were. AND THEY ARE! THEY ARE WORTH IT! These SATYRS looked like they stepped right out of 1973 , pulled back through time to remind us what Rock n' Roll could be!! So heavy but still rockin' and all fuzzed out with the guitarist belting out wicked solos and the drummer was great , great , great!! I mean really fantastic! I even dragged 2 friends with me , well, I guess they are friends and they got drunk and loud while I remained a sober little prairie dog wary and alert to all danger. Meaning COPS!
    SATANS SATYRS played and the singer busted his bass so the guy from OLD AND ILL loaned them his and they rocked out till the lights came on and good 'ol Adrian told everyone they had 10 minutes to drink their last drink and get the F out!
Again , I saw people who don't despise me , people like , Aaron & Maria , Jaime from Hogwild , Trey , Joseph Guzman , Marilyn , who is one person I believe really likes me ,John/Brokenboard , and all mighty Beer reebs my spiritual advisor and Warchief! Now just waiting on that 'Wild Beyond Belief ' cd. arty/mondosleazo^

ABIGAIL! Asian Invasion!

      ABIGAIL did three encores!!! And you missed it! I didn't , you did! Or did you not? I am so glad I went instead of going home and whacking off to Asian porn. I can do that any old time but when the hell is ABIGAIL gonna come back to San Antonio? I didn't really look but I didn't see a table covered in ABIGAIL cd's , shirts , koozies , panties , weejie boards , and other bullshit. Which they could have soled all kinds of ABIGAIL junk to fans if they wanted to. I woulda bought a ABIGAIL action figure if they had 'em! Maybe they had all ready soled out , who the fuck knows?!?

    But I can say I saw them and check them off my minds list of bands that I need to see if they slither into town. 
    and their set was pretty fuckin' fantastic and the guitarist shredded out some catchy solos and grease dripping meaty riffs that really got you pumped up , because I had been on my feet since nine o'clock that morning and ABIGAIL powerwashed away all my tiredness and all day work frustration grime. I wonder if they woulda given a fuck if they knew I had been slaving away all day over a blazing wok for a pack of crazy Koreans? Yeah , probably not.

    I do have their first full length 'Intercourse And Lust' , but I don't think they played anything from it but they have a shit ton of releases so they have alot of titles to pick from to create a set list and I assume everything they played was newer stuff.
    And I thought they'd be all spike and leather covered with corpsepaint smeared all over them but no. They looked like somewhat normal hard rock Metalheads , even a little grey around the edges but above it all they are a group of professionals that have been playing a long time as a hard rockin' well oiled Metal Machine and know how to put on a good show and looked like they were having fun as well and they have made me a solid fan of theirs as well as everyone that was in attendance.

SPEEDWOLF! Last Nites Show!

   I worked 13 hrs Saturday and just ended another 13 hr shift about an hour ago and sandwiched in between that I bore witness to my first SPEEDWOLF show! I was tired , my feet hurt , and I smelled like Big Red and Chipotle Barbecue Doritos but I went anyway! And I honestly tried to talk myself outta going. Told myself that I needed the rest , or that I might get pulled over or carjacked by a gang of transvestites , (which has almost happened to me before) get a flat tire , something would happen that would ruin my life or at least the nite. Ya see I just got off probation and I'm scared shitless of
doing something stupid again but 
I figured as long as I didn't drink I'd be okay. So I said , 'FUCK IT! I am going down to the Korova to see SPEEDWOLF & ABIGAIL no matter what happens!' And I went and I hadda a great time! SPEEDWOLF went on about 7 minutes after I got there and halfway into the first song I realized that SPEEDWOLF is fuckin'-bad-ass!!!!!!!! Do they sound like MOTORHEAD? Well , I like to think they embody and exemplify all the same ethics , emotion , and true hard rock heavy metal destruction that MOTORHEAD does. They truly did  steamroll through their set and slammed down some infective

Gonna party like a SPEEDWOLF , Awoooooo!

headbanging riffs and drumbeats and gravelly hungry man vocals. I picked up a shirt and their cd and I am glad I did and helped support the band. I am listening to the cd right now and any ardent Heavy Metal follower needs some SPEEDWOLF in their life. I know this aint much of a live show review but ya know I almost didn't go and I know how much I would have regretted it if I hadn't of gone and if you didn;t go a blowjob mite sooth the pain. But if you did go you know how BADASS they were!!!! And to the people I saw at the show who I hadn't seen in awhile: Zvs , Chris , Maria , Danny Blackwolf , it was good to see you again and I am  thankful that you can look past my inhumanity , my cruelty to children , and my rampant asian porn addiction , and will still acknowledge my horrible existence! And to Marylin , Gabe , Jaime & Loi of Hogwild , John of Brokenboard , Aaron , Zach and Jaime from STURMGEWEHR , and the main man , the barbaric Beer Reebs and HOD , thanks for being such bad dudes! So yeah , SPEEDWOLF.......next bog ABIGAIL......or SATANS SATYRS..........bye *arty/MondoSleazo